Monday, March 29, 2004

Ngap ngap..

Halo brader..

hoho.. gile buhsannn harini.. head tade, bos tade, colleague mmg slalu tade, suma la tade. Yang ada cuma aku, dan hanya aku seorang. 2 weeks ni sepatutnya bz. Migration system dari development ke production server, post mortem and operational meeting, VADS training utk frontliners, preparation surekecoh Sarawak, project mgmt workshop etc. Tapi..

Pastu esok suma kecoh kecoh. Huwaa..

Aku tak pernah meletakkan diriku lebih baik dari sesiapa. And saya juga tak akan minta awak untuk memahami segalanya. Sbb tu, ada sesetengah hal, lebih baik simpan dalam hati sahaja. Btul kut org cakap, semakin tinggi harapan, semakin besarlah kekecewaan.

Sangap, sampai tade mood nak tulis laie. Sori, later keh.

Friday, March 26, 2004

Pandaiii


Satu suara apakah pasti tetap senada ?
Satu bahasa adakah seia dalam sekata ?
Sama pegangan kenapa harus berbeza haluan ?


Letih dah...

Aku rasa ramai sangat yang nak tunjuk pandai.

Thursday, March 25, 2004

Gurun Sarah


Gurun masih muda. Ia milik kau, Sarah.
Hajar itu isteriku. Ismail itu zuriatku.
Rusuk kiriku tidak patah. Aku bertambah
maharaja dengan engkau.
            Aku akan pergi menggali oasis.Kalau aku
            hilang ditelan gurun pasir ini, bawakan tapak
            kakiku buat Ismail. Dia akan menjadi bapa
            bangsa yang tidak akan lupa binaan pertama
            di dunia walau dia membina seribu KLCC nanti.
            (Kalau dia tidak putus kusembelih)
                        Nanti kubuat batas kurma dan sekeliling Kaabah
                        kita sama tabur benih-benih tulip buat umat.
                        Cinta kau ada dalam cinta-NYA.

                                                                  Jimadie Shah
                                                                          UM.

-tepuk tepuk tepuk-

Wednesday, March 24, 2004

Demokrasi yg mengapikan Demonstrasi


tak larat aku melayan karenah pilihanraya tahun ni. Sian gak kat pakcik Rashid tu.. tapi.. ntahlah.. org ngajo aku dulu, first rule of leadership: everything is your fault. So, cemana pun dia salahkan org IT Department SPR tu, still salah dia gak.

Aku ada gak dgr citer yg mmg ada leased line connection dari pejabat SPR direct to UMNO's HQ kat PWTC tu, kat KDN pun ada, and some more masa pilihanraya tu. Aku tau sbb member aku sendiri yg setup uplink tu. Yang aku pelik, kenapa link tu perlu? And kalau SPR benar-benar telus, dia mesti takkan benarkan sapa sapa pun org luar being connected directly to their network/system/DB. Hatta government yg memerintah sekalipun.

Sbb apa? sbb manade dah government bila parlimen dah bubar. Mana bleh address Pak Lah sebagai "Perdana Menteri" masa tu. Kes Sg Lembing, basic task of proofreading pun kantui. Satu mende lagi yg membuatkan aku tergelak is, depa bagi alasan : SPR Tak cukup masa utk prepare. Walhal, yg tentukan tarikh pilihanraya selepas bubarnya Parlimen oleh incik PM adalah SPR sendirik. YOU're the who finalize the date. Komplen tak cukup masa wat hape camtu.

Bukak+tuang the "heavily sealed and guarded" peti undi pun bleh jumpa sampah je dalam tu. Ape cite.

Kebetulan aku sendiri tak layak mengundi tahun ni. So, maleh nak amik port. Yang penting, aku kesal, dan aku harap semua pihak termasuk aku boleh mengambil kalau tak byk pun, sedikit iktibar dari sejarah nie. Mmg bersejarah. Dan mmg layak diambil iktibar.

Hari kemenangan utk demokrasi. Bagi aku, demokrasi telah dimalukan pada hari tu.

"Well done is better than well said" (Benjamin Franklin). Bukan nak mengagungkan bangsa tu. Tapi mmg tang tu, dia betul.

Ah whatever. Nengok Buli laie best. Remember, hidup jgn jadi Mangsa!

Monday, March 22, 2004

Sihir..


"...Malamku dan malammu tak sama gelitanya." kataku.

      "...Namun bulanku dan bulanmu tak berkurang cahayanya." katamu pula.

(Hanya sesekali bintang di langitmu, bintang di langitku mencuba menyihir kita,
mengajak kita berlumba berebut cahaya, kata kita)

...titik mula
          titik akhir.

jumpa lagi!

Friday, March 19, 2004

....

.. meskipun pada mata manusia tidak menyerlahkan keadilannya, namun 'kebaikan' yang tersembunyi terlalu besar untuk difahami begitu sahaja....


and it's still hurt whenever the wind blows..

Thursday, March 18, 2004

Blurr..

Hai korang.. aku dah lama simpan mende ni.. dari F1 laie duk memahamkan..

Adalah dalam ketentuan ketidakpastian kedapatan
dua kemungkinan; kepastian dan kekaburan.
Janganlah dilihat kepastian itu tiada ketentuan
kerana pernyataan penjayaan kejayaan hanya
berlangsung tanpa kekaburan penentuan..


Hamik korang ubat.

Aku pahamla kut apa maksud dia cakap. Tapi aku still tak paham kenapa dia tulis camtu.

Ntahlah.

Winter must be cold for those with no warm memories. We've already missed the spring..

Take care!

Wednesday, March 17, 2004

There and back again..

Sorry korang.. aku bz. Alasan basi kat blog ni.

Quite some interesting events happened in the meantime. Lepak kat RITMA's ngan pruz+yatie, pi IDP Australia, kenduri Muslim+yati, Ijah's wed yg aku tak dapat pi, kak Mimi selamat melahirkan anak sulung boy, presentation to CEO etc.

So what's next huh?

Aku dapat nasihat ni dari seseorang: try to view this world a whole new each day. Choose to let sees what no one else sees. See what everyone else chooses not to see. NObody can stop your spirit. NObody can stop you from learning, NObody can stop you from studying.

Oh ya, came across this poem from one of the best movie i've watched.. enjoy

i love you without knowing how, or when, or from where
i love you straigtfowardly,without complexities or pride
so i love you because i know no other way than this
so close, that your hand on my chest, is my hand
so close that when you close your eyes, I fall asleep


it's been a long road..

Tuesday, March 09, 2004

To blog or not to Blog

Blog. Beberapa hari aku tak mai sini, aku dok tanya balik, nape aku tulis blog.

Betui kata Mat Jan, blog ni mcm karaoke. Karaoke membolehkan kita nyanyi jek lagu tu tanpa peduli suara kite sedap ke idak. Blog membolehkan org yg takut tulisannya tade org yg sudi nak publish utk terus menulis.

Tapi blog belum boleh mencerminkan segalanya ttg penulisnya. The writer has the tendency to lie, whether not to write the actual situation, or even not to write it at all. Moreover, ada sesetengah perkara itu, tak dapat diungkap ngan mana mana perkataan pun, dan ada sesetengah perkara tu plak, patut dibiarkan begitu je.

Common situation gak, penulis blog terlalu takut utk menulis. Takut apa yg tertulis dikomen/kritik/kutuk/kontrovesi. This is one those cases "a victim of your own fame". Sedangkan, ini cuma, blog. Blog tak boleh mencerminkan seseorang sepenuhnya. If we meet orphans, you think you know how hard their life has been, how they feel, whom they are, just because we've read Oliver Twist?

Does blog encapsulates me? Nope, dun't think so. It suppose to form a seamless bond between myself and the audience, making sure that neither threatened to overpower the other.

A forgone conclusion for idealists. Sadly, i'm a realist by education.

Friday, March 05, 2004

Grrr...

Hari ni?

MCMB development down # Internet intermittent sampai sakit hati nak guna # presentation failed # my work was ripped apart by the ever-clever GM Marketing # masuk solat Jumaat lewat # missed my breakfast+lunch # baru je bagi salam pertama selesai Jumaat terus dapat call soh balik ofis sbb ada request for presentation last minute from GM before 2:30pm # nak kuar parking MMU lepas Jumaat jem cam hapetah # team-mate tak datang keje langsung utk kesekian kalinya # corporate customer call+mail tanya mcm mcm sbb MCMB production down semalam # my boss, dah la takleh defend apa yg dia sendiri arahkan aku buat , then with her personal issue masuk ofis balik lepas lunch kui 4:00 sedangkan org suma tunggu nak diskas # nak submit website changes to India tak boleh sbb Marketing input tak dapat lagi # dan...

.Aku still di sini. Lapar lak tu.


By the way, all the abovementioned items, walaupun dah macam lirik lagu, bukan salah aku.

Tade perasaan dah.

Life looks "sunnier" with more to come...

Thursday, March 04, 2004

Perfect Simple Plan

Nothing interesting in da office, except the fact that I’ve finally get my deserved salary. Another 3 days though.

Someone I just met talked to me about “the comfort zone”. Mizy, ko muda laie. Komitmen tak byk. Selalu bleh enjoy. All the bla bla bla stuff. And about how am I to go out of the comfort zone, to make more money, forget about too early commitments and perhaps buy a perfect life. Sorang laie lak mai crite kat aku yg dia rasa dia takkan jumpa the perfect one.

Perfect. It’s a damn big word. In reality, such thing almost doesn’t exist at all. People talks about the perfect world, a perfect life, but the next day, you’ll find them hurt somebody they love.

People kadang-kadang tends to misjudge things. Too many slacks, too much issue. Kadang-kadang gak, it’s just some silly little things they’re arguing about. People call this imperfection, but they’re not. Nope, these are actually the good stuff. Never underestimate it, ever.

‘Cause you’ll have bad times, but then we’ll always later on tersedar, wake up to all the good times we aren’t paying attention to.

You’re not a perfect spot. Nobody is. And this girl you met, she isn’t perfect either. But the question is, whether you can be perfect for each other. That’s the whole deal. That’s what intimacy is all about.

And satu hari nanti, when we were to choose who we let into our weird little worlds..

A famous quote then was, “perfection is the acceptance of defections.” Bila kita boleh menerima kekurangan masing masing, barulah sesuatu itu sempurna. Mmg la kita kena set the tolerance level, tapi berusahala sama sama to minimize it. Share la.

Seperkara lagi, awatla dok nengok tang kekurangan tu je buat pe? Mende hok negative selalunya jadi obvious, nampak sokmo, and push all the kindness and true values down to the background level.

Another version of “easier said than done”? Well, i think it is a super-philosophy. Buatla sendiri, and come back here if u wish to share.

Panjang pulak aku bebel pagi buta ni.

Tuesday, March 02, 2004

The English Patient

Aku dah janji dah haritu, stop complaining too much. Tapi.. ntah, aku terpaksa mencari sebab untuk cuba memahami keadaan itu, dah selepas itu menutup sebelah mata umpama ia tak pernah ada di situ.

When your work is based on mutual benefits, understanding and trust, it SHOULD be easier. Moreover, you are in a team, and you are a team mate with others, and others are team mates to you.

Sad fact is, human beings are not worthy of trust. It is human nature to lie, take shortcuts, lose your nerves, get tired and make mistakes.

It's sad, but true.

Team kunun.

Jap, eleh, sama je aku ngan korang. So, who am i to complaint?

"Sekadar airmata.. tak mampu membasuhi dosa ini..."